


fake

by cautiouslyoptimistic



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-07-10 09:26:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cautiouslyoptimistic/pseuds/cautiouslyoptimistic
Summary: she knew it was going to be a bad day when her coffee maker didn’t work that morningor, nicole's newest assignment is both a blessing and a curse





	1. the shade

**Author's Note:**

> i have literally no clue where i'm going with this. so like bear with me. i just wanted to write a fake dating au and this is what came out

She knew it was going to be a bad day when her coffee maker didn’t work that morning. She knew it was going to be a  _ weird _ day when she was willing to reduce herself to the coffee flavored sludge at the station, before Dolls shook his head and, offering nothing more than a “homestead” in her general direction, clearly expected her to give up on caffeine entirely and follow him. Which she did without question. 

(Of course, she did. 

Nicole hadn’t questioned Dolls since she blew up at him, demanding to know what was going on in Purgatory, and he’d sat her down, informally deputized her, and told her everything—from the Earp curse to Wynonna being the heir to the fact that only Peacemaker could kill the Revenants.

It had been...well, she’d said  _ illuminating _ at the time, but she’d been thinking  _ batshit crazy _ .) 

“What’s going on?” she asked him as she fell into step next to him, pulling her coat back on, her stetson in her hand. “Is Wynonna okay?” 

(Nedley had huffed when he saw Wynonna and Nicole working together, getting along fairly well even with the light-hearted insults lobbed at each other. He said it didn’t make sense on paper, their friendship. He said Nicole had her work cut out for her, because Wynonna was a handful.

He said that he was glad they were friends, that they were good for each other.) 

“She’s fine. It’s Waverly she’s concerned about,” Dolls said, pulling the driver’s door of this BBD-issued SUV open, pausing long enough for Nicole to get the hint and head towards the passenger’s seat. 

( _ Waverly _ . Nicole didn’t know much about her. She’d seen her a handful of times, spoken to her even less. In fact, the things that Nicole knew about Waverly could be boiled down into three simple points:

Waverly was Wynonna’s everything, and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for her. 

Waverly’s taste in men left much to be desired.

Waverly was as  _ smart _ as she was  _ beautiful _ , and Nicole never could seem to get words out around her.)

“Hey Haught,” Dolls said as he sped towards the homestead, clearly more worried than his stoic face let on, “I don’t know what we’re going to face. Whatever it is, your priority is to get Waverly safe. Do you understand?” 

She heard all the things he wasn’t saying, the warnings he wasn’t giving. He didn’t say that for Wynonna to function, Waverly had to be safe. He didn’t mention that his life and Nicole’s life were expendable but the heir’s and her sister’s weren’t. He didn’t have to say it—she didn’t need him to. And he didn’t need her answering nod and murmured “I understand” either.  

After all, she hadn’t questioned him since the day he finally trusted her—the day she learned to trust him. 

 

x

 

They found Wynonna in some sort of stand-off, just beyond the Earp property line. Peacemaker was raised, pointed right at Waverly, tears in both sisters’ eyes. 

“Earp, what’s the situation,” Dolls said calmly as he and Nicole inched forward, guns raised. “Earp, talk to me,” he said, annoyance entering his tone. Wynonna’s eyes flickered towards them, something like relief in her expression before she refocused on her sister.

“It’s got Waverly,” she said, tone hard. Nicole, confused as the four of them were the only people there, turned to look back at Waverly again. She was rigid, hands pulled behind her in an uncomfortable looking way, her expression torn between anger and fear.

And there behind her, so shadowy that Nicole understood why she missed it the first time taking stock of the situation, was a red-eyed demon. 

“I’m owed a bride,” it hissed, flickering in the daylight. “Your father promised me this one.”

“Daddy was a piece of shit but he wasn’t ‘sell your daughter away for marriage’ shit,” Wynonna snapped, cocking Peacemaker. “So you’d better let go of my sister before I send you to hell.” 

“Earp,” Dolls warned, making a motioning gesture behind his back at Nicole. She began to edge the other way, towards Waverly, as Wynonna and Dolls continued the distraction. 

“Ward Earp didn’t want to give me a bride,” the demon laughed, the sound grating against Nicole’s ears. “But he saw the error of his ways when this one’s life was on the line.” It shifted its grip on Waverly, and when Nicole saw a flicker of pain flash on Waverly’s face, something white-hot and angry bubbled up inside her.

“You didn’t get her then, you don’t get her now,” Wynonna said, voice tight. The demon just laughed again.

“Ward thought he could stop me too. But he just delayed the inevitable. I promised him twenty years before I took my bride, and now that time is up.” Its red eyes flitted down to Waverly, and Nicole would swear she could see a grin form on its translucent face. 

“Okay, I’ve had enough,” Wynonna said angrily, ignoring Dolls’ objections. “You ready baby girl?” Before Nicole could intervene, Waverly nodded and tugged, hard, nearly throwing herself to the ground just as Peacemaker went off, the bullet finding its mark right between the demon’s eyes. 

For one horrifying moment, the demon looked corporeal, blood seeping from the bullet wound, and then it became nothing more than a shadow again, its cold laughter ringing out in the empty fields. 

“Wyatt’s old gun can’t harm  _ me _ ,” the demon laughed, grabbing Waverly and dragging her to her feet. “That was a lesson your father learned too, right before he  _ begged _ for time.” 

Just as Nicole was about to tackle the demon, or at least surprise it enough so Waverly could get away, Jeremy’s voice rang in her ear, nearly deafening her (and judging by the looks on Dolls and Wynonna’s faces, nearly deafening them too). 

“It’s not a Revenant! It’s a Shade!” he said excitedly, as if that was supposed to explain everything. 

“Yeah, that’s helpful Jeremy,” Nicole hissed, still inching towards Waverly from behind. “What does that mean?” 

“Well, Peacemaker is useless against it,” he told her unhelpfully. 

“We know, so what’re we supposed to do?” 

“Waverly needs to get married,” he said quickly, almost like he knew what he was saying was insane. “Not to the Shade obviously, but to someone else. Shades can’t touch bound people.” 

Nicole looked over to Wynonna and Dolls, utterly confused. But though Dolls looked vaguely concerned (at least that was what she assumed the deeper frown than usual indicated, after months of working with him she still wasn’t sure), Wynonna seemed...contemplative. 

“Oi! Shadow freak,” Wynonna called, interrupting the Shade’s laughter at his success, “there’s a problem with your stupid plan.” 

“And what would that be?” it hissed, now apparently thoroughly annoyed by the difficulty it was having with obtaining its bride. 

“My sister, she’s already engaged. She’s getting married next year, you asshole.” 

The Shade released Waverly in shock, but before she could fall into the snow, Nicole rushed over and caught her, immediately pulling her as far away from the Shade as possible. 

“Impossible,” it shouted, its red eyes glowing brighter and if possible, redder. “I’ve been watching, making sure…”

“Well you’re a shit watch,” Wynonna laughed with a roll of her eyes, twirling Peacemaker once before shrugging. “I mean just look, don’t you see it? My sister is marrying Deputy Carrot Stick over here. Sorry, I mean Haught.” 

Nicole, who had been busy checking Waverly for injuries, hands on cheeks and shoulders as she pulled Waverly towards the car, stopped at the sound of her name. Everyone was turned towards her, Wynonna, the Shade, and  _ Waverly _ . She blinked at the look in Waverly’s eyes, and before she could offer any protest, Waverly surged forward, her lips finding Nicole’s, kissing her hard and long. 

(It was like...well, Nicole wasn’t sure what it was like. She thought she may have passed out from the moment Waverly’s lips touched hers to the moment she pulled away.) 

“You see?” Wynonna said with a touch of arrogance. “Love is love, what can you do?” The Shade released a sound, some sort of mix between a screech and a growl and it flew past them and into the trees. For a moment, everyone was silent. Then: “Well, that bought us some time. I’m sorry, Haughtstuff, but it’s a good thing you’re not an actor. And baby girl, good on you for catching on so quick. Those Earp genes, just shining today.” 

No one responded. Dolls blinked, as if he still wasn’t sure what happened, Waverly was pulling as far away from Nicole as possible, and Nicole was frozen to the frozen ground, unable to move. 

“Right,” Wynonna sighed, sounding only half-way contrite. “An easing in period, I get it.” 

 

x

 

“I’m just saying, eventually the Shade will catch on,” Jeremy was saying, hands waving around, sounding panicked. Nicole wasn’t really sure what he was talking about—she’d collapsed in a chair at the station and hadn’t moved or spoken once, not touching the coffee that Dolls had wordlessly handed to her. “You may have fooled it today with a kiss, but marriage? It’s gonna figure it out.”

“Which is why we need a way to stop it,” Wynonna said with a groan. “This bought us time, it’s obviously not a permanent solution. I mean, Haught is like a walking rainbow bumper sticker. And Waverly dates creeps like Champ.” 

“The only way you can stop a Shade is for their supposed ‘chosen’ to fall in love, like the real deal, be with you forever, sort of love,” Waverly said, speaking up for the first time, ignoring the slight about Champ. Her eyes fell on Nicole. “You know, the make believe stuff,” she finished weakly.  

“Well, great,” Wynonna said cheerfully. “So that definitely rules Champ the loser out.” She turned to Nicole conspiratorially. “Told you Champ wasn’t the real deal. My baby sister is way too smart for that chump.” 

“Earp, you need to focus,” Dolls said, rubbing his temples. “There has to be another way to stop this Shade. Until we find it, Haught and Waverly have to keep up the act as best they can.” He turned to Nicole, shrugging a bit helplessly. “Think of it as protecting her,” he suggested. 

“I don’t need  _ protection _ ,” Waverly hissed, standing up so quickly that her heels against the tile made a sound that had Nicole flinching. “And I certainly don’t need a, a—” she floundered, “—a  _ babysitter _ !” 

“Baby girl, it’s not that big a—”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Waverly said, throwing her arms up in the air. “I have to break up with Champ—”

“—well, that’s a good thing really—”

“—I’ve dated him since  _ high school _ , Wynonna—”

“—and he’s a total tool and you know it, you can do better—

“—is that better _ really _ a deputy Sheriff from nowhere?” Waverly demanded. Her eyes widened as she realized what she had said, turning to Nicole with an already apologetic expression. “Gosh, I’m sorry—I didn’t—fudge nuggets,” she finished lamely, collapsing back into her chair with a sigh. 

(Nicole amended her list about Waverly. 

Waverly was also  _ strong _ . She was brave. She was opinionated. She was so, so,  _ so _ smart. 

She was only going to end in heartbreak.) 

“I know this isn’t ideal for you,” Nicole said softly, speaking for the first time as she stared at her coffee cup and not Waverly. “But it’s our only plan for now to keep you safe. I promise I’ll make this as painless as possible for you, and that we’ll work hard to fix this as soon as possible.” She looked around, from Dolls to Jeremy to Wynonna, searching for their agreement. “This will all be over before you know it.” 

“Fine,” Waverly agreed, not exactly a vote of confidence, but Nicole took it. 

(She stayed in her seat as the others left, ignoring the way Dolls looked at her, focused on the untouched cup of coffee in her hands.

If only her stupid coffee maker had worked that morning….) 

 

x

 

She was in the process of feeding Calamity Jane when her doorbell rang. 

Apologizing profusely to her cat, she gave up on her task and opened the door, shocked to see Waverly standing there and not Wynonna like she expected. 

(They had a strange friendship, her and Wynonna. It consisted of working together, complaining about Champ together—though their reasoning differed—and going after the supernatural together.

She figured that after today, after getting pretend-engaged to the pretty girl she barely knew, Wynonna would show up with a bottle of whiskey and an offer to forget. They’d drink, maybe finish all of Nicole’s ice cream, and watch trashy tv together before Wynonna would leave with an uncharacteristically soft reminder for Nicole to protect her sister.

She didn’t like how she was vaguely glad it was Waverly at her doorstep. It was too dangerous for her heart for her to allow Waverly to get too close.)

“I brought donuts,” Waverly said, holding up a box and opting out of hellos. It made sense. Was it really necessary to say hello to your fake  fiancée ? 

“Well, since it’s  _ donuts _ …” Nicole joked, moving aside so Waverly could come in. “Sorry it’s a mess,” she added, suddenly self-conscious, “Calamity Jane has been finicky all night and I haven’t had time to clean up.”

“No, I get it,” Waverly said absentmindedly, focused more on the photos she passed and smiling at Nicole’s cat than she was on listening to Nicole. “I, um, well I think I just wanted to talk.” She turned to Nicole and pushed the box of donuts at her. Nicole smiled softly and took it, setting it down on the coffee table. 

“Want some coffee? Tea?” 

“Tea would be great. I only drink coffee as a last resort,” Waverly said, and Nicole filed that information for later. 

They didn’t speak as Nicole busied herself in the kitchen with mugs and boiled water and tea bags, while Waverly sat at the kitchen table, fingers tapping against the wood nervously. She smiled awkwardly when Nicole placed a mug in front of her, allowing the tea bag to steep far longer than Nicole thought necessary. 

“You wanted to talk?” she reminded Waverly gently, taking a sip of her own tea, watching Waverly fidget from over the rim. Her ears were red. Her fingers would not stop tapping. And her eyes? Her beautiful, expressive eyes? They were focused on the ground. “Waverly?” Nicole prompted, and suddenly Waverly looked resolved. 

“I—I’ve always done things  _ my _ way,” she said, biting her lip. “I haven’t liked being told what to do for as long as I can remember. You know, normal parents dying, only sibling left abandoning you type thing.” 

(It was not normal. Or at least, Nicole felt it shouldn’t have been. But she knew better than to say that aloud.) 

“Okay,” Nicole said with a nod and another sip of her tea. 

“This,” Waverly gestured between them, “this fake thing we want to do, it won’t work unless you listen to me, respect me.” 

“Of course, Waverly,” Nicole said, shocked that that was even in question. 

“You can’t tell me what to do, you can’t take advantage. I’m my own person.”

“I know you are,” Nicole said, hating that Waverly even felt the need to say these things, hating that she felt there was a reason to speak up. What had she been through that it was even an issue? “God, Waverly. Of course you’re your own person.” 

(Not for the first time, Nicole thought about how utterly  _ pretty _ Waverly was. 

It was unfair, almost. She was definitely too gay for this assignment.) 

“This morning, when I kissed you, it was because I had to,” Waverly continued, acting as if Nicole hadn’t spoken, even though her cheeks were tinged pink from Nicole’s response. “I don’t like feeling that way,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I understand, I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again, I—” But Waverly didn’t let her finish.

Before Nicole knew what was going on, Waverly had reached out, and tugged her closer by the lapels of her shirt, once more pressing her lips to Nicole’s. 

(This time, Nicole was aware of every single second of it. She was aware of the little breath Waverly let out, the curl of Waverly’s fingers on her shirt, the slow and easy way her lips moved against Nicole’s. 

It was a kiss she was sure she was never going to forget.

_ God _ , this was going to end in heartbreak.) 

“I just wanted one to be on my terms, for me,” Waverly said as she pulled away, only centimeters apart. 

“That makes sense,” Nicole said, otherwise speechless. She saw Waverly smile, saw her get to her feet and mutter something about letting herself out, saw her wave farewell. 

All she could feel, though, was Waverly’s lips. 

She cursed as Calamity Jane rubbed against her legs. 

“I’m definitely in trouble,” she told her cat, only vaguely unsurprised at the lack of a response. 


	2. unfocused

Nicole sighed as she stared at the stack of paperwork on her desk. It had been nearly two weeks since she’d just left the station with Dolls, forgetting in the moment to warn Nedley. She was paying for that mistake now; since then, Nedley had redirected all the paperwork in the office to her. 

(A part of her figured she deserved the punishment, she hadn’t exactly followed protocol. But a much bigger part of her just wanted to get out from behind her desk. 

She wondered if it was possible to die from boredom.) 

“Busy, Haught?” Wynonna asked, stomping over to her desk not even seconds after Nicole sat down, resigning herself to a day of boring, tedious, dull paperwork. “‘Cause I need a favor.” 

“Well you’ve already arranged a marriage for me. I’m sure I owe you,” Nicole said, signing at the bottom of the form she was looking at, not bothering to give Wynonna her full attention. 

“Great, that’s what I like to hear,” Wynonna said with a clap of her hands, not hearing or choosing to totally ignore Nicole’s sarcasm. “Waverly has been...well, not thrilled. To sugarcoat it for you.” She coughed delicately. “Something about a forced marriage to someone she doesn’t love and no way out in the foreseeable future.” She paused, letting those words sink in. “Also a good bit about how she’s not even gay or something like that, I don’t know. Which is news to me because I  _ saw _ how she looked at Samantha ‘perky tits’ Baker when I was in high school.”

“I don’t think you know what sugarcoat means, Wynonna,” Nicole offered without looking up, feeling some kind of twinge in her chest at the thought of Waverly looking at Samantha Baker. “What do you need from me?”

Wynonna leaned forward, snatching Nicole’s pen right out of her hand, bringing their faces far too close for Nicole’s comfort.

“Make it easier on her?” Wynonna said with a wide smile, practically as close to saying ‘please’ as she could get. 

“How am I supposed to do that?” Nicole demanded, meeting Wynonna’s eyes, a little surprised that Wynonna seemed genuinely worried—even regretful. “I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me.” 

(Nicole wasn’t just ‘pretty sure,’ she  _ knew _ Waverly was avoiding her. It was the way she snuck into the station to avoid passing by the deputies’ desks when she was on the clock for Wynonna and Dolls. It was the way she would dip out of Shorty’s the second Nicole stepped foot in there, giving into Wynonna’s repeated asks to go grab a drink. It was the way she literally jumped and paled when she ran into Nicole in the street the other day, mumbling something and turning on her heel and going back the way she came. 

Nicole was a cop, but she sure as hell didn’t need any of her training to tell when someone didn’t want to see her.)  

“Waverly is stubborn. It’s an Earp thing,” Wynonna shrugged, patting Nicole on the shoulder as if she couldn’t hope to understand the Earp stubbornness, as if Nicole hadn’t dealt with Wynonna from the day she moved to Purgatory, as if they’d never become friends. “Just...I don't know. You got me to not totally hate you. Just do that with Waverly.”

“Aw, Wynonna, was that you saying you  _ like _ me? Are you admitting we’re friends?” 

“Ugh, don’t be gross.” Wynonna shoved Nicole, making a face as Nicole laughed. “Are you going to help or not? Waverly’s way too mopey. It’s bad juju and it’s weirding me out.” 

(Nicole was a  _ cop _ . She helped people, that was her job. 

She had known her answer from the moment Wynonna came calling for a favor.

And if that felt a little bit misleading—because this involved  _ Waverly _ , it was  _ more _ —no one really needed to know.)

“Yeah, of course. I’ll see what I can do.” 

Wynonna grinned, a real smile this time, as close as saying ‘thank you’ as she could get. “Another thing us Earps have in common is a love for donuts,” Wynonna said, and Nicole thought about the donuts Waverly brought her before kissing her. She felt the tips of her ears heat up. “A thing to think about, Haught-y.” 

“Go away, Wynonna,” Nicole muttered, pushing her away, knowing her face was red at that point. 

Wynonna’s answering laugh rang in Nicole’s ears long after she left. 

 

x

 

She looked at her reflection in her rearview mirror, checking her teeth and her hair, smoothing out her collar for the fourth time. 

(It felt important for her to look her best, she wasn’t quite sure why. 

Waverly was  _ straight _ , she didn’t even like Nicole as a friend. All of this was because of something supernatural the Earps seemed to attract like moths to a flame. 

But she wanted to look good. She wanted to...impress.)

Nicole cleared her throat, checked her breath again and popped another mint into her mouth just to be safe, then got out of her cruiser, freshly fallen snow crunching beneath her boots. The walk to the homestead’s porch felt a little like walking to the gallows, and she wondered idly if it was spending so much time with Wynonna that made her this dramatic. 

She paused in front of the door, hand raised and ready to knock, but found herself unable to do so. Somehow, it felt wrong. Waverly was  _ avoiding  _ her. If Waverly wanted to talk, she was fully capable of doing that. Hadn’t she specifically said she didn’t like feeling like she had to do something? Wasn’t this essentially forcing her to talk, this ambush at her own home? 

Nicole blinked, dropped her hand, and turned around, settling down on the steps that led to the porch, leaning her head against the wooden railing. 

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, thinking about everything and nothing at all, staring out at the wide expanse of snow-covered land, when the front door creaked open and she heard footsteps behind her. 

“I didn’t know officers took ‘protect and serve’ so seriously,” Waverly said as she sat down next to Nicole, bundled up in several layers, two steaming mugs in her hands. “You don’t have to, you know, stand guard or anything,” she continued with an awkward laugh, holding out one of the mugs for Nicole. “I doubt the Shade can get onto the homestead anyway,” she mused aloud, staring out into the distance once Nicole accepted the mug.

For a second, Nicole just stared. There was no doubting that Waverly was beautiful. Her long hair was pulled back, a smile tugged at her lips almost like she was unaware of it, a faint smell of flowers followed her everywhere. But there was also something about the way Waverly sat and spoke, the way she held herself. It was...special.  

“Wynonna’s worried about you. And I wanted to talk but…” Nicole took a sip of the tea Waverly brought her, grateful for the warmth. She shrugged.

“But what?”

“I heard you that night, Waverly,” Nicole said softly, eyes focused on her tea, as if she’d find what she was looking for in the dregs. “And forcing you to talk to me when you obviously don’t want to is the opposite of listening to you.”

“So you thought sitting out in the  _ freezing _ cold for half an hour was a better idea?” Waverly asked. But Nicole ignored her question; now that the dams were open, the words came flowing out.

“I know all this is...well, it’s not what you want. Between the Earp curse and the Shade coming after you, something awkward with me is the last thing you need on your plate,” Nicole said quickly, turning to Waverly and meeting her eyes. “So just tell me. How can I make it better?” 

“I broke up with Champ,” she said in response, setting her mug aside and tugging Nicole’s out of her hand as well. Nicole almost complained about the loss of warmth but Waverly linked their fingers together, and Nicole couldn’t feel the cold anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said, not sorry at all. Judging from the way Waverly’s eyebrows rose, she hadn’t missed the tone.

“You’re a terrible liar, Nicole Haught,” she said, her thumb beginning to make a circular motion on the back of Nicole’s hand. “I know the things you and Wynonna call him behind his back.” She frowned, trying to be stern and failing miserably. “It’s not very nice.” 

“I’m sorry,” Nicole repeated, still not sorry, though this time Waverly just smiled and chose not to call her out on the lie. 

“Friends,” she said, her thumb still making that motion. She laughed at whatever confused look Nicole sent her way. “That’s how we make this better. We become friends.” 

(Nicole vaguely wondered if Waverly was trying to kill her. 

There was that smile. Her thumb on Nicole’s hand. The word  _ friend _ accompanied by that look in her eye.

This wasn’t a fair assignment at  _ all _ .)

“I can do friend. I’m a great friend,” Nicole said, nodding quickly. “Just ask Wynonna.”  

“I know you’re great,” Waverly said softly, head tilting to the side. For a moment they were silent, just looking at each other, before Waverly’s eyes widened and she pulled her hand away as she registered what she said. “I mean. You’re an officer! And smell like vanilla dip donuts! You know, great. Just...great. Great officer stuff.” 

“Well, in the interest of being friends, I’ll let the cop joke slide,” Nicole laughed, getting to her feet slowly, holding out a hand for Waverly. For a second, she was sure Waverly would ignore it, but then hesitantly, Waverly took her hand again and allowed Nicole to help her up. And even though Waverly pulled away quickly, something fluttered in Nicole’s chest.  _ It’s pretend _ , she reminded herself.  _ Pretend, pretend, pretend.  _ “And we should probably get to know each other better. Want to go out on a pretend date with me? Two birds, one stone?”

“Yeah, okay Officer,” Waverly laughed, shaking her head. 

“Great,” Nicole said, smiling stupidly at Waverly, unable to help it. She watched as Waverly gathered their mugs and turned to go back inside, pausing right before she pushed the door open.

“Officer Haught,” she said, leaning against the doorway, “For our pretend date, don’t worry so much about your collar, I’ll probably ruin it anyway. But the mints were a great idea.” She winked, honestly  _ winked _ , and ducked inside, leaving Nicole out in the cold with flaming cheeks and a renewed certainty that Waverly Earp was going to be the death of her. 

 

x

 

She met Wynonna the day she moved to Purgatory. She was in the process of hauling her things out of her car—her measly few belongings that she hadn’t been able to stomach leaving behind, photos and momentos that only served as reminders of memories she wasn’t yet sure she wanted to leave behind—when Wynonna rammed into her from behind, knocking them both to the ground.

“Get up, get up!” She’d yelled, grabbing Nicole’s hand and dragging her away from her scattered box of things. “I’m out of ammo and there are a few not-so-happy rev-heads coming this way, so you need to  _ move _ , Ginger.” 

(She hadn’t understood what Wynonna was chattering about, she hadn’t known anything about Wynonna’s reputation or history. And yet, without giving it a second thought, she unholstered her service weapon, tossed Wynonna a few rounds, and the two of them went after the unhappy rev-heads.

She watched Wynonna send two men to hell, watched the ground actually open up beneath them, and she secured a promise that Wynonna would explain  _ everything _ . 

In the end, Dolls had.) 

Meeting Waverly for the first time had not been nearly as exciting, but it had been much more memorable. 

Nicole saw her on the way into the local grocer, held the door open for her, and had earned herself a smile and a thank you, the moment stuck on replay in her mind for days afterwards. 

(She thought that maybe in a better universe, a better world, it was  _ Waverly _ she met first,  _ Waverly  _ that she talked to,  _ Waverly _ that she got to know. 

Nicole loved Wynonna, cherished the friendship she had with her, but  _ Waverly _ ? Waverly was something else entirely.) 

“Where is your head today, Officer?” Dolls said exasperatedly as he slammed her onto the mat for the fourth time in a row. She was slick with sweat, chest heaving and breathless, and Dolls looked like he was out on a leisurely stroll. “You’ve never let me get you that easily before. I thought you  _ wanted _ to train.”

“I did! I mean, I do!” Nicole huffed, getting to her feet gingerly, knowing she was going to be incredibly sore soon. “I’m distracted. A little,” she added when Dolls just gave her a look. “Fine, more than a little. You would be too if you were roped into a fake marriage.”

“Not fake,” Dolls grunted, tossing her a water bottle and a towel. “The more you think it’s fake or temporary, the more it’s likely that the Shade will figure out we played it.” 

“I know, I know. We don’t want it to know we played it,” Nicole intoned, rolling her eyes at Dolls’ constant refrain since the whole mess went down. She draped the towel around her neck and tugged on the ends nervously. “I’m fine,” she said, not meeting Dolls’ eyes.

“No you’re not,” he told her flatly, and when she looked up at him, she knew that he was well aware of the tiny crush she’d had on Waverly before this whole mess went down. “Look, Haught, I get it,” he started, his eyes on something to the right of Nicole’s shoulder, though when Nicole turned slightly, she saw a swish of something brown and nothing more, “you’re going above and beyond the line of duty. Giving up your personal life and privacy to stop things you didn’t even know existed before you moved to Purgatory. It’s okay not to be fine.” He blinked and then met her eyes, almost giving her a smile. “You’re a good cop, Haught. Just don’t lose your focus and everything will work out.” 

“Easy enough for you to say. You and Wynonna get to stand around and look pretty while I do all the work.” 

Dolls ignored her entirely, rolling his shoulders as he stepped back onto the mat. 

“Again,” he said, and Nicole resigned herself to more brutal training. 

 

x

 

Wynonna fell into step next to her as she walked from the police station to Shorty’s for her first fake-date with Waverly. She was uncharacteristically sober and silent, glancing at Nicole every few seconds out from the corner of her eye. 

“What do you want, Wynonna?” Nicole asked, breaking. She came to a stop right outside Shorty’s, turning to Wynonna with her hands on her hips and eyebrows raised high. 

“A favor.”

“Another one?”

“What’s a favor between sort-of friends?”

“Seriously?” Nicole wasn’t sure if she was miffed at the ‘sort-of friends’ comment or the fact that Wynonna had come asking for another favor. 

“Drinks,” Wynonna said, winking at Nicole, the effect substantially different from when Waverly had done it. “You and me, tomorrow night. We can even do stupid stuff, like talk or whatever. If you, you know, had things you wanted to talk about. Like a dumb, butt-ugly demon thing kinda, sorta leading to your arranged marriage with my sister.” 

(Nicole had known Wynonna from the day she moved to Purgatory. And this? This affection in Wynonna’s voice, the worry, the offer to help, it was something Wynonna reserved for the people she loved.

But Nicole knew Wynonna since the day she moved to Purgatory, so she knew better than to comment on it or to even smile in response.) 

“I could definitely use a few drinks, Earp. Tomorrow night it is.” 

“Great. Now go sweep my sister off her feet you chivalrous ginger-stalk, you.” She clapped Nicole on the back, grinning, then walked away with her middle finger sticking up, just in case Nicole was feeling any sort of affection for the elder Earp sister from her uncharacteristic moment of friendliness. 

Laughing and feeling much more cheered up, Nicole pushed her way into Shorty’s, zeroing in on Waverly almost immediately. She was behind the counter, pouring drinks with a tiny smile on her face, the few patrons left in the bar huddled at a table in the back. 

Nicole made her way to the counter, fiddling with her hat in between her hands, clearing her throat to get Waverly’s attention. 

(She  _ craved _ that attention. Even in passing glances or smiles, in short conversations or the odd hello, she always wanted to be Waverly’s entire focus. There was just something about having those eyes and that smile directed  _ solely _ at her, like she was special, like she mattered, like she was being  _ seen _ . 

That was the worst part of the whole mess that happened. Because even though she was thrilled that she got to be the center of Waverly’s attention, she hated that it wasn’t by choice. She hated the reminder that Waverly would not have chosen this on her own.) 

“Hey you,” Waverly grinned as Nicole sat down on one of the stools at the bar. “You’re early.” 

“When I know what I want, I don’t like to wait,” Nicole said, at once kicking herself for her mouth’s disconnect with her brain, but also a little proud of how well her mouth was handling itself when her brain was too focused on how utterly  _ pretty _ Waverly looked. 

Waverly leaned forward. 

“You think the Shade is watching?” she asked in a whisper, the reminder of what they were really doing sending a chill down Nicole’s back. It was way too easy for her to get distracted. This was an  _ assignment _ , nothing more. 

“Dolls figures it is,” Nicole whispered back, leaning forward as well. 

“I’m glad you didn’t forget the mints,” Waverly said, and that was all the warning she gave before she tugged Nicole by the collar, closing the last of the distance between them, and kissed her. 

(Nicole didn’t like to exaggerate. She was a cop, she was precise, she was methodical. 

But  _ damn _ , if that kiss didn’t feel like coming home.) 

It took Nicole a second to open her eyes when the kiss ended, a little surprised to see a quizzical expression on Waverly’s face. 

“You okay?” 

“Hmm?” Waverly hummed, looking at Nicole oddly. “Oh, yes. I’m fine! Just dandy! All...dandi-like.” 

“Okay,” Nicole said, taking Waverly at her word. “When do you get off?” Waverly’s eyes began to widen and Nicole felt her cheeks flame. “Off work! When do you get off work?”

“Um, soon. Want to wait for me outside?”

“Yeah, of course,” Nicole agreed, jumping at the chance for a moment to pull herself together. “I’ll wait outside.” 

In her haste to get away, drowning in embarrassment, Nicole completely missed the soft smile on Waverly’s lips.

 

x

 

Nicole watched, entranced, as Waverly ran the tip of her finger around the rim of her coffee cup, head turned towards the window, the last bit of sunlight bringing out flecks of gold and red in her hair. The table between them felt at once like too little distance and not enough distance at all. 

“I’m sorry, by the way,” she said suddenly, breaking Nicole out of her daze. She turned to Nicole with a frown, a crease appearing between her eyebrows that Nicole longed to smooth away.

It was an inappropriate thought and while Nicole hated herself for it, she knew she’d imagine that exact scenario later on while alone and unlikely to embarrass herself. 

“Sorry for what?” Nicole asked, thinking of Dolls and his warning not to lose focus. 

(An  _ assignment,  _ she reminded herself. This was an  _ assignment _ .) 

“I haven’t exactly been making this easy for you. I was rude before, even when you were just being sweet, when you’re doing all this just to help me.” She paused, her hand twitching, as if she wanted to take Nicole’s hand (though Nicole wondered if that was just her wishful thinking). “I was so upset that I didn’t get a choice in this that I forgot you didn’t either.” 

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Nicole said firmly, holding out her hand and almost letting out an embarrassing sigh of relief when Waverly took it with no hesitation. “I’ve dealt with much worse than someone who was upset and frustrated, and had every right to be.”

“You know what it’s like to get engaged with someone who doesn’t want to be engaged?” (Nicole tried not to dwell on the fact that Waverly was talking generalities and not specifically about Nicole. She tried, but she wasn’t too successful, filing that away for future dissection when she was alone.)

“Well, I’ve been divorced, so sort of?” 

(Nicole knew she was in trouble. First, she hadn’t even thought to lie. Second, she brought up Shae with little to no prompting at all. 

This thing with Waverly was less a ‘little crush’ and more something she didn’t want to contemplate.)

Waverly seemed to soften, her grip on Nicole’s hand tightened, and that circular motion with her thumb made a stellar comeback. “What sort of crazy lets a person like you get away, Nicole Haught?” Waverly asked softly, smiling. And though Nicole had always trusted her gut and instincts, she  _ knew _ what she felt now was just wishful thinking.

Because there was just no way that Waverly Earp sounded  _ wistful. _ There just was no way.

Was there?


	3. discovered

Dolls rarely looked anything but grim, but Nicole thought that the look on his face now was the most serious yet. (She didn’t need a mirror to know his expression was a reflection of her own.) 

“Are you sure?” Dolls asked her in a harsh whisper, his eyes only briefly flitting over to the other side of the room, where Wynonna and Waverly were deep in conversation about whether Wynonna could beat Inigo Montoya if she had a  _ big ass sword _ . 

(“—I could  _ totally _ beat him, I’ve watched that movie like seventy times,” Wynonna was saying. Waverly rolled her eyes.

“Wynonna, you can barely shoot straight, let alone swing a sword.”)

“Lonnie is an idiot, but he’s an idiot who can recognize stalking when he sees it—even if he doesn’t realize he’s seeing a supernatural being dead set on marrying Waverly as the stalker,” Nicole whispered back, leaning against her desk and crossing her arms over her chest, her eyes on Waverly. She felt a twinge in her chest as she watched Waverly laugh at whatever Wynonna was saying now. “Dolls, I hate to say it, but it’s not safe anymore for her to go anywhere alone.” 

“I agree,” he said curtly, slowly turning his back on the Earp sisters to give Nicole his full attention. “I’ll talk to Nedley. From now on, you’re on 24-hour detail. Where Waverly goes, you go.”

“She’s not going to like that. Besides, the Shade must suspect something—”

“—which is why you spending more time around her is the best plan we’ve got, Haught,” Dolls interrupted. “Jeremy and I are trying to find something through BBD, Wynonna is interrogating Revenants, but we’re no closer to stopping this demon than we were when it first showed up. You’re not just our best plan, you’re our  _ only _ plan right now.” 

(The enormity of the task settled onto Nicole’s shoulders, her knees practically buckling under the weight. For the first time, it fully occurred to her that Waverly’s fate depended almost entirely on  _ her _ . 

Nicole felt her heart pound away in her chest, a warning—a desperate plea—for her to  _ move _ , to grab Waverly and take her far away from Purgatory, somewhere safe. She felt her heart pound, demanding to know why she wasn’t  _ doing _ something.) 

“Okay.”

“Nicole,” Dolls said suddenly, placing a hand on her shoulder, “you know I’ve got your back right? Every step of the way.” 

Nicole nodded shakily, noting that Wynonna and Waverly were done with their discussion and were eying them oddly, and she smiled automatically to help put them at ease.

And when Dolls’ hand slipped away from her shoulder, she was relieved to note some of the weight went with it. 

 

x

 

As she predicted, Waverly didn’t like the new arrangement  _ at all _ .

“I just don’t see why it’s necessary,” she complained, following Nicole and Wynonna to Nicole’s police cruiser, eyeing the few scant belongings Nicole was bringing into the homestead with ire, as if extra clothes and Nicole’s favorite shampoo had done Waverly some personal wrong. “It’s not like the Shade can come onto the homestead anyway. What’s the point of all this?” 

“It means we need to up our game, baby girl,” Wynonna answered, taking a box from Nicole and flashing her significant look before stalking back towards the porch. Nicole sighed, just barely refraining from pinching the bridge of her nose as Waverly’s full focus and frustration was turned on her. 

“Nicole, you can’t honestly say that you want to do this,” Waverly said, hands on her hips, hair in a disarray, and her fluffy, pink slippers sort of ruining the effect Waverly was intending. 

“We’re friends, right?” Nicole asked, stepping forward into Waverly’s space, shocking her enough that they locked eyes and her expression slowly shifted from frustration to curiosity. 

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but—”

“Waverly, do you  _ trust _ me?” Nicole repeated firmly, slowly reaching out to tuck a strand of Waverly’s hair behind her ear, giving her ample opportunity to pull away. (Nicole didn’t let herself think about how Waverly not only didn’t move an inch, her head seemed to lean slightly into Nicole’s hand.)

“Yes, I do,” she said softly. 

“Then trust that this is the right thing to do.”

“It’s not  _ fair _ ,” Waverly muttered, causing Nicole to pull her hand away, unsure if she saw the disappointment flash in Waverly’s eyes or that she just imagined it. 

“It’s only for a while, and I’ll be the best roommate ever, I’ll cook and—”

“No, not for me, silly,” Waverly interrupted with a laugh, rolling her eyes as she lightly slapped Nicole’s arm. “It’s not fair to  _ you _ . You had to leave your apartment, Wynonna is setting up the  _ couch _ for you, and let me tell you, it’s not comfortable  _ at all _ . You gave Calamity Jane to Nedley—”

“—well, I wouldn’t say  _ gave _ , he’s just taking care of her for a while—”

“—you’re doing so much for me, Nicole,” Waverly continued, speaking over Nicole’s comment with nothing more than a pair of raised eyebrows, “I just wish I could do something for you.”

(In another world, another time, Nicole would’ve kissed Waverly then. She would have reached out and pulled Waverly close, foreheads pressed together, before letting their lips meet—once, twice, as much as Waverly would allow. In another world, another time, she would have wrapped her arms around Waverly’s waist and said that being with her, getting the chance to kiss her, was enough. 

In another world, another time, Nicole would’ve been able to close her eyes and lean down to press her face into Waverly’s neck, breathing her in. 

In this world, in this time, Nicole could only dream.)

“We’re friends, Waverly,” Nicole said, hating how wrong that sounded, how wrong it  _ felt _ . “You don’t owe friends anything. I want to do this. Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Waverly said distractedly. For ten long seconds she looked like she was about to say something else but then she shook her head vigorously and threw her arms around Nicole’s neck, giving her a quick and tight hug. “You’re right. This’ll be fun, like a sleepover! I never had a sleepover before,” she rambled, pulling away from Nicole and heading back towards the house as she spoke, not looking back once. “You know, normal parents dying, only sibling left abandoning you sort of thing. It doesn’t score you very many invites.” 

“I would’ve invited you over all the time, Waverly Earp,” Nicole said without thinking. Waverly stopped in her tracks, looked for a moment like she was about to turn around, but then she kept walking, loudly offering tea. 

Nicole allowed herself a smile, pleased that she’d managed to fluster Waverly, even if for a moment. 

 

x

 

Nicole was reading when she heard footsteps on the stairs, the slow, deliberate creaks giving Wynonna away before she even stuck her head into the living room, waving a bottle of whiskey at Nicole in invitation. With a grin, Nicole marked her place and closed the book, setting it aside as Wynonna sat down next to her.

“All these chairs and you chose to sit on the floor,” Wynonna grumbled, taking a swig from the bottle before handing it over to Nicole. “You’re a Haught mess.” 

“The floor was more comfortable than the couch,” Nicole shot back as she sipped from the bottle and grimaced at the taste and burn, ignoring Wynonna’s chuckle at her expense.

“Yeah, it’s a shitty couch,” Wynonna laughed, shaking her head. “Hey, Nicole,” Wynonna continued, sounding somber and serious suddenly, “I don’t think I said it yet, but thank you. Thank you for helping me protect my sister.” 

“Anytime, Wynonna. I care about Waverly too, you know?” 

A small grin appeared on Wynonna’s face as she tugged the bottle out of Nicole’s hands. “Oh, I know,” she said. “It’s her superpower. Everyone loves Waverly Earp.” Wynonna drank from the bottle, missing Nicole’s sigh. 

(Because it was true, everyone  _ did _ love Waverly, usually just after two minutes of speaking with her. She was a hard person not to love. 

But Nicole hadn’t meant it like that. She cared about Waverly, sure. But she also  _ cared _ . There was a difference. It wasn’t a general concern, it wasn’t just a lowkey desire to see her happy and healthy, it was more. 

It was wanting to be there, through ups and downs. It was wanting to hear her laugh, wanting to be the one who wiped away her tears, it was—well, it just was more. It was maybe too much, it was definitely never going to happen.) 

“I wish we could just...take her far away from here,” Nicole muttered, taking a much larger swig of the whiskey when Wynonna handed it back to her. “She doesn’t deserve this.” 

“You and me both, sister,” Wynonna said, frowning at Nicole, as if she was seeing her clearly for the first time. “But you heard Jeremy, this chickenshit demon isn’t trapped by the Ghost River Triangle. It can follow Waverly anywhere.” 

“I know, I know,” Nicole mumbled, her heart pounding as Wynonna studied her carefully. Did she say too much? Wynonna was her best friend, what would she think of Nicole’s less than platonic feelings for her little sister? What would she think of their plan to keep Waverly safe?

_ Jesus _ , what if she thought Nicole would try to take advantage of the situation? 

“Nicole, when you say you care, you—”

“—there you two are!” Waverly interrupted, coming up to stand in front of the two of them, her eyes narrowed. “I can’t believe you two are having a girl’s night without me. The sleepover thing was  _ my  _ idea.” 

(Not for the first time, Nicole thanked whatever higher power there was for Waverly Earp’s existence.) 

“Deputy Haughtshit and I  _ had _ to be drunk to spend extra time with you, baby girl,” Wynonna replied easily, still staring at Nicole. Waverly huffed as she sat down on Nicole’s other side, though unlike Wynonna she sat far too close, their shoulders pressed together. When she held out her hand for the whiskey, her knuckles brushed unnecessarily brushed against Nicole’s knee. And Nicole, already feeling the effects of the alcohol and very aware of Wynonna’s eyes following every brush of skin and easy familiarity, was rather sure she was about to have a heart attack. 

“Don’t be mean, Wynonna,” Waverly admonished. “Besides, Nicole likes spending time with me. Right Nicole?” 

The eyes of both Earp sisters were on Nicole. It felt very warm in the room suddenly.

“Is that right, Carrot Stick? You like spending time with my baby sister?” Wynonna asked, head tilted to the side, eyebrows raised. 

“It’s, wow, really hot in here,” Nicole managed to say, avoiding both Wynonna and Waverly’s gazes, “I had too much to drink, I think.” 

“You had like two sips, Haught,” Wynonna started, but Nicole was already getting to her feet. 

“I’m just going to get some air, okay? Okay.” 

And with no grace whatsoever, Nicole fled.

 

x

 

She didn’t really expect to be left alone, so she wasn’t exactly surprised when Wynonna followed her out to the porch, but she was grateful that Wynonna had given her several minutes to regain her composure, and that Wynonna had thought to bring a coat for her.

“Waverly went to bed, but she wants a do-over of girl’s night,” Wynonna said as she watched Nicole pull the coat on quickly. “So you want to talk, Haught?” she asked, the lack of a joke with her last name indicating that Wynonna was dead serious. 

“Wynonna, I—”

“—you like Waverly. Like,  _ like _ like her, which makes me sound stupid, but it’s true. Right?” Nicole nodded miserably. “So? How long?”

“Since moving to Purgatory,” Nicole answered, watching Wynonna’s mouth form an ‘o’ and her eyes widen. “Wynonna, I—”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” she interrupted, arms crossed. “This whole time, you’ve had feelings for my baby sister and you didn’t say anything? I thought we were friends.” 

(Wynonna was her best friend. She’d met her the day she moved to Purgatory and had been at her side through every single crazy thing since. 

She loved Wynonna, and her heart was breaking at the thought that she crossed some line and she would lose that friendship forever.)

“We  _ are _ friends,” Nicole said quickly, turning fully towards Wynonna and wringing her hands nervously, needing Wynonna to understand. “I just didn’t see a point in saying anything. She had a boyfriend, she’s straight. It was a hopeless thing I thought would pass.” 

“But it didn’t pass, did it?” Wynonna guessed, letting out a sigh. “And now you’re fake engaged to her… dammit Nicole, why didn’t you just  _ tell _ me?”  

“Because it wouldn’t have made a difference, it was—”

“—if you say hopeless again, I’m going to punch you,” Wynonna said bluntly, interrupting Nicole again. “It would’ve made a lot of difference you walking Twizzler. I am the  _ best _ wingwoman ever. I could’ve helped you.”

Nicole’s first reaction was to let out a noise that sounded like a relieved half-sob, half-laugh—because Wynonna wasn’t angry or betrayed, she just looked amused and maybe a little annoyed. The truth hadn’t ruined their friendship.

Her second reaction was to shake her head quickly, not understanding what Wynonna thought she could’ve helped with.

“She’s straight, she loves Champ, she—”

“Don’t be stupid,” Wynonna laughed. “I said it before, I’ll say it again, I saw the way Waverly looked at Stephanie “perky tits” Baker—”

“—can we stop talking about Waverly looking at anyone’s tits please—”

“—so I wouldn’t worry about Waverly being straight,” Wynonna continued, ignoring Nicole completely. “As for the Champ thing, I won’t pretend to understand that, but I know for sure that she  _ never _ loved him. He’s a shithead.” She looked at Nicole approvingly. “And you, Red? You work for Nedley, but you’re not a shithead.”

“That’s glowing praise, thank you,” Nicole said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m serious, Nicole,” Wynonna said with a shrug, “I don’t think anyone is good enough for my baby sister. But you come close.” She let out a sigh and bumped their shoulders together. “If you had told me how you felt, I would’ve thought a little longer before putting you through this fake engagement thing, you know.”

“Why, couldn’t trust me?” Nicole said bitterly, hating that her worst fear had been confirmed. To her surprise, Wynonna bumped their shoulders together again, shaking her head.

“No, Deputy Stupid Haught-y. Because I would’ve known that doing this would be hard for you, and I don’t know if I’d be willing to put you through it.” 

“Let’s not pretend, Wynonna. You’d do anything for Waverly and you know it.”

“Yeah, but I would’ve hesitated. Maybe considered Dolls.” She shuddered, shaking her head. “He would be shit at this, you know? I don’t even think he’s capable of love.” 

(Nicole disagreed heartily, and she knew that Wynonna didn’t even mean what she was saying. But that was another story, another problem. She was too busy feeling sorry about her shitty love life to invest too much energy in Wynonna’s.) 

“I’m going to protect her, I’ll do whatever I have to do to keep her safe, Wynonna. I promise,” Nicole said, swallowing hard. 

“I knew you were going to do that before even finding out how you feel about her. That’s not really my issue.” 

“So what is?” 

“I’m worried the only deputy I like in this stupid town is going to do something stupid, like break her own big, dumb heart.” 

(Nicole was pretty worried about that too. But if it kept Waverly safe, it was worth it.)

“Lonnie is going to be so flattered that you care so much,” Nicole joked, needing to break the tension. And Wynonna, probably understanding that sentiment better than anyone else—that need to hide behind jokes—laughed and played along. 

 

x

 

When Nicole had woken up, Waverly was sipping tea in the kitchen and reading an old looking book that definitely wasn’t in English and Wynonna was nowhere to be found. 

“Wynonna made breakfast before she left,” Waverly said when Nicole sat across from her with a cup of coffee, “by which I mean Dolls brought donuts. I saved you the jelly one you like.” Without looking up from her book, she pointed at a plate to her right. 

“Thanks,” Nicole said, not trusting herself to say more because of the warmth that was blossoming in her chest—she was rather sure if she opened her mouth, something stupid was bound to come out, like how pretty Waverly looked, or how much Nicole liked her. 

“So did you and Wynonna have a good chat last night,” Waverly said, and for the first time, Nicole noticed Waverly’s knuckle white grip on her mug. She was sitting oddly stiffly as well, and Nicole suddenly realized she hadn’t looked at her once since she entered the kitchen.

“Are you—are you upset with me, Waverly?” 

That earned Nicole a look, though the anger in Waverly’s eyes rather made her feel as if she could’ve gone without it. 

“Why would I be upset? Because the second I sat down last night, you literally  _ ran away _ ?” 

“Waverly—”

“I thought we were friends,” Waverly said, and Nicole could not believe she’d gotten both Earp sisters to question her friendship in the past twelve hours.

“Of course we’re friends, Waverly.” 

“Then why did you run?” Waverly asked, leaning forward, elbows propped up on the table and book long forgotten. 

Nicole stared at her, realizing she was fully incapable of lying and well aware that the truth wasn’t possible. 

“I got overwhelmed, that’s all,” she hedged, hoping Waverly would drop it.

“By what?” Waverly probed, definitely not dropping it. 

“Look, Waverly, I’m used to being alone. Even when I was married—” She stopped, suddenly wishing Wynonna hadn’t let her sleep in and hadn’t left her alone for this interrogation. “I got overwhelmed, that’s all.” 

“Okay,” Waverly muttered, settling back into her chair and looking disappointed. “Fine, you got overwhelmed.”

“Waverly—”

“Will you promise me something?” Waverly interrupted, their eyes locked, Nicole feeling entirely transfixed. 

“Anything,” she said with a bit too much feeling, thinking that if Wynonna was there she’d be smacking herself at Nicole’s lack of subtlety. 

“I know we have to lie about being engaged, but promise me that we won’t lie to each other. About anything. No matter who we’re in front of, we always stay honest. Okay? I’ll even start, ask me anything.”

A question was on her lips before Nicole even had time to think on it.

“Did you give Champ that speech you gave me? About respecting you, listening to you? Because you dated him for  _ years _ , and I don’t think Champ even knows what the word respect means.” 

“No, I didn’t,” Waverly answered simply, and Nicole would swear that there was a small smile on her lips. 

“Why not?”

“I don’t know. Because it was never serious, because it never felt  _ real _ . Because he was a shithead and I knew he could never hurt me.” 

(She didn’t say it, but it was tacit in the way she ended her sentence: Champ couldn’t hurt her, but Nicole  _ could _ .

And Nicole had no clue what that meant.) 

“Oh.”

“So do you promise?” Waverly asked. “We lie only about the engagement, nothing else?”  

“Yeah, Waverly, I promise,” Nicole said firmly. Waverly nodded and got to her feet, circling around the table to stop at Nicole’s side. 

“Can I ask a question then?” she asked, waiting for Nicole’s shaky nod before continuing. “Did you mean what you said to Wynonna last night?” Waverly let out a nervous laugh, shrugging. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but um, well. It’s a small house and your voices carried.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may be yelling 'cliffhanger!!? you fiend!!' but can it really be a cliffhanger if i don't know what i'm doing/where i'm going with this?


	4. loyal

Nicole’s brain had definitely short-circuited. Either that or she was dreaming. Because even  _ she _ couldn’t have had  _ this much _ bad luck. 

“You—you heard...sorry, you heard what,  _ exactly _ ?” 

Waverly winced, looking very much like she regretted the conversation entirely. She turned to sit back down in her seat and began to play with her now empty mug of tea, fingers running against the rim repeatedly. 

“Well, um, everything,” she answered, sounding a little guilty. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened in, I did! But you two were talking about  _ me _ and I couldn’t move because I wanted to know more, which maybe is nosy, Wynonna says it’s my only but enormous fault and—Nicole please say something, don’t let me just ramble.” 

Nicole didn’t know what to say. She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to change her name and move to South America—get as far away from this situation as she possibly could. In the end, she settled on saying exactly what she was feeling.

“ _ Jesus _ this is embarrassing.” 

“You’re embarrassed about having feelings for me?” Waverly asked, uncharacteristically sullen-sounding. If Nicole had bothered to pay more attention to Waverly and less to her own humiliation, she would’ve even said Waverly seemed  _ sad _ . 

“What? No. I’m embarrassed that you found out,” Nicole said, getting to her feet and pacing around the kitchen. “This,” she pointed to Waverly and then to herself, “was never supposed to be a thing. I was supposed to get over my hopeless thing for you and you were never supposed to find out about it.”

“That’s stupid, Nicole,” Waverly said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. She even huffed a little, and though it was totally not the time, Nicole found herself thinking it was adorable. 

“You don’t get it.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“I can’t. I just—the unrequited thing? The falling for someone who can’t love you back? You couldn’t understand that. You’re...you’re  _ you _ .” 

A crease appeared between Waverly’s brows, her eyes narrowing as she thought through Nicole’s words. 

“I don’t understand. What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, her tone a little dangerous—as if she knew she’d just been insulted but wasn’t sure how. 

“It’s just everyone loves you, Waverly,” Nicole hastened to explain, attempting to dig herself out of her freshly made hole. “You don’t-you wouldn’t—look, it hurts a hundred times less to never get the confirmation that the unrequited feelings are unrequited. I mean...without the confirmation you can still hold onto hope.” 

“How do you know it’s unrequited?” Waverly snapped, clearly frustrated. Nicole’s heart pounded hard in her chest. 

“Do you have feelings for me?” she asked quietly in response, knowing the answer and yet unable to help the small balloon of hope that swelled in her chest as Waverly struggled to speak. 

“I-I’ve—I like boys. Men. I like men,” she said, blinking rapidly. She turned her head, eyes glued to the ground as Nicole came to a stop and listened to her big, dumb heart break all at once. 

“Like I said, unrequited,” she murmured, unsure what else to say. “I’m going to go, um, check the, um, perimeter,” she continued, rambling on like an idiot. Also like an idiot she paused just a second, waiting for Waverly to say something, waiting for her to ask her to wait. 

But Waverly was silent and still, and that balloon in Nicole’s chest shriveled and puttered out as the last bit of hope slipped away. 

 

x

 

“You look like shit,” Wynonna said without preamble as she stepped onto the porch. She handed over the cup of coffee in her hand, grunting and needlessly adjusting her leather jacket when Nicole shot her a grateful look. “I, um, talked to Waverly. I thought you could use a pick-me-up.”

Nicole frowned, but understood as soon as she took a sip from the cup, spluttering and coughing at the taste. “Dammit, Wynonna, this isn’t coffee.”

“No, it’s  _ Irish _ coffee. Without the coffee,” she conceded at Nicole’s glare. “Whatever, if you don’t want it, I’ll drink it.” She made to take back the cup, but Nicole held it out of her reach, figuring she did need the drink. 

“She’s going to hate me,” Nicole told Wynonna, hating that her voice sounded so small.

“It’s  _ Waverly _ ,” Wynonna chuckled, elbowing Nicole gently, offering a shrug when Nicole gathered the courage to meet her eyes. “She’s physically incapable of hate. At worst, it’ll be awkward.”

“You were wrong about ‘perky tits’ you know,” Nicole informed her sullenly, giving her a reproachful look. 

“So I’ve heard. Waverly told me to stop commenting on her sexuality, that it’s wrong to assume. That she likes boy-men.”

“Oh, yeah. She told me the boy-men part too.” 

“If it’s any consolation, Haught,” Wynonna said with another shrug, “I’d bang you. I don’t call you Haught-y for nothing.” 

Nicole snorted into the whiskey, shaking her head quickly. “No, no, that does not make me feel better. Besides, I just don’t feel that way about you, Wynonna.” 

Wynonna laughed and stretched, turning away from Nicole entirely and suddenly seeming very interested in one of her nails. “I’m sorry, Nicole,” she said, almost as if she was struggling to get the words out. “We can make the Irish coffee a thing. If you wanted.” 

(And Nicole realized what this was about—an apology and a thank you all at once. A  _ sorry _ for your broken heart,  _ sorry _ for the rending it’ll go through until they managed to beat the Shade,  _ sorry  _ for putting you through this.

And thank you, thank you for doing it all the same.) 

“As long as there’s actual coffee next time, yeah. That sounds good.”

(And Nicole’s response: A bruised ego and a little bit of awkwardness was nothing as long as Waverly was safe.) 

 

x

 

Nicole was a professional.

More importantly, Nicole was  _ loyal _ . 

The following days at the homestead were excruciating to say the least. Not only because it was awkward to have to duck out of Waverly’s way, that the rides to town and back were stilted and quiet, or that Wynonna kept casting increasingly pitying looks over her way (as if worried she’d start crying any moment and seeming utterly terrified at the very prospect). No, it was excruciating because her heart still fluttered at the sight of Waverly, because she could feel it pound in her chest when she caught a whiff of Waverly’s perfume or they made eye contact and Waverly offered her a smile. It was excruciating to have feelings bubble and fill her lungs, leaving her choking on words that went unsaid, to attempt to bury and hide the emotions that swelled in her chest at the mere thought of Waverly. Nicole was a professional, she was loyal, and she was determined to make sure Waverly was safe, was  _ focused _ on Waverly’s wellbeing, wanting nothing more than for her to be happy and well. 

And yet...well, just because her feelings weren’t returned didn’t make those feelings go away.

(She knew she fell fast and hard. She’d experienced that with Shae. But with Waverly...it was different, it was more. 

With Waverly, from the moment they met, from the first time they spoke, from the very first glance, Nicole had felt a sense of rightness. Of belonging. It had been as if an invisible thread had always been tugging her closer to Waverly, but now with the distance between them so little, that thread was taut and ready to snap. 

Nicole wasn’t sure what would happen when it did finally break, and she didn’t really want to find out either.) 

Nicole sighed as she circled the perimeter once more, the sky dark and the temperature falling fast. Eventually the cold would force her to seek refuge inside, sit in front of the fireplace with Wynonna and Waverly and share a drink. But for now, for now Nicole was content to walk until her fingers were stiff from the cold and her brain stopped replaying that moment from the kitchen in her mind’s eye. 

Even feeling sorry for herself as she was, she was alert enough to hear the crunch of boots on snow behind her. Nicole twirled around, service weapon unholstered, only to see Waverly standing there, a sheepish expression on her face and a pair of gloves—Nicole’s gloves—dangling from her right hand. 

“Don’t shoot,” Waverly said weakly, waving the gloves. “I come in peace.”

“You’re supposed to be inside. Where it’s safe. And  _ warm _ ,” Nicole said, knowing she was being a little more brusque than she had any right to be. She was a professional. She was loyal. “Thank you,” she added more softly as she took her gloves from Waverly, offering a smile as well even though she was vaguely sure she could keep herself warm from sheer embarrassment for the rest of the night. 

“Nicole, listen,” Waverly began, wringing her hands together, “about the other morning, I shouldn’t have—”

“—I don’t think we need to...wait, did you hear that?”

“—I know this is awkward, can you let me apologize—”

“Waverly!” Nicole hissed, placing a hand over Waverly’s mouth. “Shh.” She scanned their surroundings, realizing with a start that she’d strayed a little ways off the Earp property. “Shit, come on, Waverly, let’s—”

“I was owed a bride,” came the Shade’s cold, brittle voice. Nicole shoved Waverly back, her eyes desperately scanning the area. “And  _ you _ stole her from me.” Without any warning, the Shade materialized in front of Nicole, tall and what smelled like blood wafting off it, streaks plastered into its wispy clothing. “Theft is punishable by  _ death _ ,” it hissed, and Nicole saw rather than felt the blade slide into her stomach. In fact, for several long moments, she didn’t feel anything at all.

She didn’t feel herself fall into the snow, didn’t feel Waverly latch onto her jacket and drag her over the property line, didn’t feel the ice that coated her hair and neck. 

(She couldn’t feel Waverly’s hands on her stomach, the drops of water—tears, her own or Waverly’s, she wasn’t sure—on her face. 

She couldn’t even feel the pain that was making it hard to breathe, that had her gasping and reaching for Waverly’s hands, wanting—no,  _ needing _ —to hold them at least once. At least one time.)

She didn’t feel anything at all, not in those last few moments with Waverly alternating between screaming for Wynonna and begging Nicole to stay, except a sense of relief. 

Odd, really. She’d been so embarrassed when Waverly had confronted her about her feelings, and yet now, as she was bleeding into the snow and vaguely sure she was about to die, Nicole was  _ glad _ . 

She was a professional, she was loyal, but she was in love. And Waverly  _ knew _ . 

Somehow, that was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i'm the worst. no promises, but there shouldn't be a six month wait this time. fingers crossed don't hate me


End file.
